Well love we are almost done with you being in jail. Just 8 more days and i get to pick you up and bring you back to san antonio. Oh i am so glad you are finally coming back. The kids and I have missed you so much. We are finally going to start a new chapter in our lives and end this one. I am so ready to put this one behind us. I have grown so much its amazing all the work God has done in me and i hope he has done the same for you. I remember when you first left, i cried so much. I cried everyday for like the first couple of months. I was so lonley and i felt so alone. I thought to myself "how am i going to get through this?, "i cant do this i cant be alone with out my husband" It was so hard for me and i was so mad at God for allowing this to happen, for allowing you to go to prison and leave me alone with our 4 kids. And i remember how much the kids cried as well,not Bert because hes litte but the other 3 knew you were gone. When i came back home the day you turned yourself in Mino came in the apt. looking for you. He was walking to every room calling out your name i guess in hopes that you would come out but you didnt and he cried so much. It broke my heart to see him like that, and i held all of them and we cried together. It was a really tough time and just thinking about it makes me cry. Now we are at the end and I did it, we did it. God sure did give me the strength to get through every single day that went by. He never left us he was always there. And now, the kids are so excited even Julissa is keeping count on the calendar. God also blessed me/us with some great awesome people, our life group and many many more to help us get through this tough time. I believe that God did and does have a purpose for all of this. We just need to continue to trust in Him. I love you so much and i cant wait to see you, to hug you and to kiss you. 8 days are going to come so fast..see you soon my love :)
March 10, 2012
Well today marks 2months. I dont know if it has been going by fast or slow, either way it doesnt matter because your still not here. Well i finally had my first visit with you and it was great. I am/was so happy to be able to sit next to you, hug you, kiss you and actually talk to you face to face. But now its like im back to reality....being alone and lonley. I dont know what happened, i was doing soo good and here i go again im back to being on a rollercoaster!! I guess just seeing you reminded me of what its like being with again. I miss you so much and cant wait to see you again. I love yoou with all my heart.
February 14, 2012
Valentines Day.....well its not just that its our anniversary!! Today marks 7 yrs of marriage and boy has it been interesting. We are one month in you being gone and frankly it seems a lot longer. I mean can it go any slower?! I hate that i have to spend this day without you. Ive had a rough month. One minute im ok then im not. These past couple of days have been great until today. I mean today was good but then i started to think of the things we would be doing today and it just brought me to tears. Im in a place where i dont want to be and i need to get myself out. I know God has a plan for us and that something good is going to come out of this...i just dont know how or what!!! For now all i can do is trust in God.
I just want to say that you are a wonderful husband and Thank you for all you have done for us and the sacrifices you have had to make for us, especially this one. I still remember the first day we met ahhh, i wanted nothing to do with you. But you kept on being persistent in being with me and if it wasnt for you being like that we wouldnt be together now with 4 kids. Thank you for putting up with me when i am difficult and loving me when i need it the most. I am looking forward to many more valentine days and anniversaries with you!! I cant wait for next year to spend it together again. I love you with all my heart and i miss you dearly!!
Happy Anniversary and Valentines Day!
Today i am so sad. I miss my husband so much. Sometimes i dont even know what to do with myself. Its so hard doing everything by myself. Hes not here to help me, laugh with me, hold me. I never thought that i would have to go threw a seperation like this. I mean 13 mths isnt that long but it is a long time, for me at least it is. Sometimes i think how in the world am I gonna get thru this time alone? Its only been a week but man it seems longer. At times I seem to be ok but i have my moments where im lonley and i feel alone. Nobody knows that ugly feeling where it seems as if you are never gonna see him again, unless you have gone thru it. I try not to think about it as much and I try to keep myself busy but even that doesnt help much. When im thinking all of this and I just wanna lay in bed and be depressed I pray to God to give the strength that i need to move forward and to feel his presence and at that moment i feel like im gonna be ok. I know God has a purpose for all of this and that hes with me every step of the way, but i am human and i still have feeling. Daddy I just ask that you give me strength, patience and peace to know that everything is going to be ok. I ask for this time to go by fast and for my husband to keep focused in your word and for us to know your in control. in Jesus name i pray. Amen!
Occasionally, Christina may write her thoughts, fears, prayers and concerns. Please pray for her during this time of caring for their little ones, being completely responsible for their home, working, being a cheerleader for Mino and remembering to take care of herself amidst this season.
